Theres not many people I vent to about my moms stroke this summer.
I mostly keep all the thoughts in my head which eventually just explode at the worst times. This week is midterms week, aka hell week. On top of everything my car broke the other day.
Financially things aren’t as good for my family at the moment. Due to my moms stroke she is unable to work, leaving her unemployed and my dad being the caretaker of everyone plus battling a job.
Its a lot on him, and the family. Ive been going up and down with my anxiety with everything, but today I lost it. That panic attack came one like no other.
Ever since my moms stroke there have been a lot of panic attacks. I was doing so well for a while it sucks to be back were I started. Ive been feeling so lonely lately, and I hate that feeling. I am always the person everyone opens up too and vents too, but when the roles need to be reversed, I feel like I got no one.
Hope this dark cloud breaks free from being over my head soon.
Needed a quick vent and a second to catch my breath.
its comical to me how much you’ve changed. When I see a text from you, I just laugh. I laugh because of how much you don’t care anymore. I not only laugh though, I’m hurting. I’m hurting because I gave you 110% of me, and you didn’t reciprocate any of it.
What hurts the most though is the memories. The incredible sophomore year of college memories that I honestly will never forget. You changed me, into a more confident person that I never knew I could become.
Thanks for changing me, but also thanks for being one of the biggest let downs. I called you not only a best friend, but someone I truly cared about. I never really thought this time would come. I thought things would be the same this year, but its the complete opposite. Those feelings will never go away but in the end I know what I have to do.
It’s officially time to move on.
It’s time to find someone who genuinely cares about me, for me. Someone that I know won’t leave me the way you did.
Goodbye sophomore year memories, It’s October of my junior year of college. It’s time for a change. A good change.